BREAK FREE
Full transparency: the past few months were kind of “blah” to me. To me—not for me. That’s important. It was purely my perception and the filter through which I was viewing my life that made me feel that way…in reality, they were great months full of great things. But WOW, does the filter through which we view our lives change what we see.
Everything looks a little different with a filter. When we view our lives through grace, through knowing that God is working through every single occurrence in our lives for our good—even the toughest things can look good. But, when you view things as the victim…with the “woe is me for the things I don’t have” filter I was looking at my life through for the past few months, things can get distorted. I saw the past few months as full of monotonous routines and busy schedules. I let my thoughts get stuck on what I didn’t have rather than what I did have. I found myself planning how to move my life forward like everyone else’s.
How to get work to fit into my life like I wanted it to.
How to get a boyfriend.
How to find the perfect balance between family and work and church and friends.
I began getting frustrated with myself. I knew the practicals. I knew God has a plan. I knew it’s His plan over mine. I’ve been at church events 5 days a week for the past 7 months, I certainly had the knowledge, but I wasn’t listening to what God was trying to speak to ME.
I swear God always speaks to me when I’m in my bathroom. Shampooing my hair, washing my face, putting my makeup on, curling my hair…I don’t think it’s really a holy place (maybe it is though, ya never know), but I think my bathroom is the only place where my mind isn’t spinning with work, marketing for church, trying to text everyone back who’s waiting on a response from me, setting up meetings…It’s the only place my mind—that likes to sprint away from me—takes a minute to calm down and be silent. Sometimes it’s the only place I actually stop overthinking enough for God’s voice to be louder than the noise.
So, the other day I was drying my hands and I was hit with this…and maybe, if it shifted the filter over my life, it can adjust yours too.
**
It’s a break free season.
Time to break free of perceptions. Let go of the ideals and opinions that have held far too much weight for far too long. It’s time to surrender the battles I can’t control to God to fight. It’s about addressing the things that are troubling me with an open hand and being willing to let go of the control and how God is going to come through.
Because at the end of the day, I know my identity and value is rooted in something so much deeper than the world around me.
So why turn to validation from others if it isn’t what’s going to fulfill me, what’s going to build me?
Why hold on to status if it’s not what I’m called to?
Why try to fight for and against the things I know are far beyond my ability to control?
When I try to grasp these things, am I even being expectant that God will come through? He will. He always does. He has a plan and he’s working in the unseen. He’s behind the scenes chipping away at the lies I’ve believed and walls I’ve built. He’s laying new foundations and beginning to build new things, things that are going to be great and big…things I can’t even imagine how incredible the final product will be.
Romans 9 in the MSG translation says, “Who in the world do you think you are to second-guess God? Do you for one moment suppose any of us knows enough to call God into question? Clay doesn’t talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, “Why did you shape me like this?”
The plan might not be what I anticipate. Everything I’m hoping for might not happen in my time and it might not happen the way I want it to. But it’s in HIS timing and HIS plan. And how foolish I would be to think I have more control or better ideas than him.
